Repatriating is a challenge that most expats eventually face. I have repatriated several times throughout my life, and as we all know there are both logistical and emotional challenges to the experience. I think I have pretty much got the logistical challenges of an international move down pat, and moving “home” is just another such cross-border relocation. I even thought I had a pretty good handle on the emotional challenges, having gone through the rollercoaster transition from expat to native enough times not to be blindsided by the feelings commonly lumped together under the label of “reverse culture shock”. Then a year and a half ago I moved home from a long stint abroad…
This most recent repatriation involved returning from Japan to the US, but this time the move came with a twist: for the first time I settled on the East Coast rather than the West. My usual mental preparation for reintegrating into my home culture, for fitting into rather than standing out from the majority, suddenly didn’t seem to suffice. In fact, I spent the first six months “home” feeling out of place and out of sync with the local way of life. I became frustrated with myself for not being able to adjust. Could changing coasts really be enough to throw my emotions this much off-kilter? Apparently so.
After six months of increasingly wanting to flee, I realized I needed to treat the experience more as if I had moved to a new culture than returned home. I had not given enough credit to the regional cultural differences present here in the US and how they could affect me. I am laughing at myself now, but at the time I was ready to quit what I was doing just to be able to move back “home” to the home I knew –Japan. We talk about failed expat assignments; I was just about to fail at my “repat” assignment!
So what did I do? I coached myself through it. You might be prepared to do the same, but if you struggle with establishing objectivity, reach out to a coach to work through the process with you. In my own case, I realized I didn’t feel comfortable with the apartment I’d leased and I really needed the core of my world to be a place where I could be me. So I explored new neighborhoods and options until I found just the right place for me. Having a refuge, a retreat, that reflected me helped immensely. I also took a little time to visit the local tourist information center – what was my new city proud of? What makes this region special? I made a list of places and events to visit and made the effort to do something on that list at least once per month. I confess there were times I really did not feel like going out, but following through on this resolution brought positive results. I still might not feel like a local, but I no longer feel like an outsider either. These and other actions I identified for myself have helped me to turn my attitude around.
Approaching this repatriation like a new expat assignment helped me to break through the unexpected culture shock I experienced. While the actions each of us can take will differ, it is important to validate your own reactions. The assumption that moving back to your land of birth equates to going home does not always hold true. Sometimes life gives you the opportunity to rediscover your home in a brand new way. I say, make the most of it!
